Album Reviews |

MC Hammer



Please Hammer Don't Hurt Em 1 ( 1990 )
Here Comes The Hammer / U Can't Touch This / Have You Seen Her / Yo!! Sweetness / Help The Children / On Your Face / Dancin' Machine / Pray / Crime Story / She's Soft And Wet / Black Is Black / Lets Go Deeper / Work This

Somebody needs to be blamed for all the atrocities we've endured. I don't mean George W Bush. Mc Hammer is truly to blame. Borrowed music with somebody else's name on the front. Even his moustache looks ridiculous and what's with the suit? I prefer my rappers without suits. 'U Can't Touch This' is the biggie. MC Hammer rapping fairly poorly over 'Superfreak'. 'Pray' is MC Hammer rapping fairly poorly over 'When Doves Cry'. 'Have You Seen Her' is MC Hammer rapping over..... well, you get the idea. Selling bucketloads upon release, MC Hammer was thought by his label to be the Rap Michael Jackson, an artist that would dominate a decade. Funnily enough, his sound did. He blew all his money and is forever remembered in bargain bins the world over. Still, the idea of using somebody else's music isn't really the problem. The problem is when nothing is done with it, nothing at all creative is done. Still, i'm struggling to say what 'Ms AJ Right' says more eloquently on Amazon, Hammer was criticized for making rap accessible. He was criticized for making Pop Rap. He was criticized for doing commercials. He was criticized for dancing. He was criticized for keeping his music clean from vulgarity and misogyny. He was criticized for actually wanting to make a good living doing what he was doing. He was criticized for wanting to make Rap fun. He was criticized for starting a clothing line. He was critcized for acting. And he was criticized for not making white people fear him. Now, every single rapper has done at least some of these things, and nobody is saying anything. I criticized him for being crap. What really alarms me is that anybody thought this shit was any good in the first place. Fact fans? The album topped Billboard for 21 weeks in 1990.

'Help The Children' sees Hammer remake Marvin Gaye's 'Mercy Mercy Me'. God help us all, it's so crass and he does nothing with it. It's the same tune and melody only with souless backing vocals and MC Hammer. Who needs it? I love the credits. The credits are hilarious. MC Hammer (Scratching), MC Hammer (Vocals), MC Hammer (Vocals (Background)), MC Hammer (Producer), MC Hammer (Rap), MC Hammer (Main Performer), MC Hammer (Performer), MC Hammer (Liner Notes), MC Hammer (Executive Producer), MC Hammer (Mixing) MC Hammer ( wearing stupid trousers ) MC Hammer ( not having any appreciable talent. Ah, i'll leave him alone, he's too easy a target. He mixes it up. As well as the pop hits, we get attempts at being serious and down with the street ( 'Crime Story' ) and attempts at writing about sex ( 'Soft And Wet' ). 'Pray' also takes Faith No More's 'We Care A Lot' as well as 'When Doves Cry' by Prince and as you might expect, sounds a total mess as a result. Anything else? Well, his raps never even get started, he switches to a chorus far too early. I don't even like his voice, it sounds like he's constipated.

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Readers Comments John, County Kildare john.j.doyle@nuim.ie you are just jellis cos hammer is great and you are not and he has made lots of money and people like him and he is in the charts and has lots of songs on top of the top of the pops and is so much better than the fall and the smiths and..... BOLLOCKS!!!! That's the kind of shite the more discerning half of the human race had to tolerate for the 2 years or thereabouts, that this plastic production line fuckwad ruled the roost. The early 90s equivalent of The Black Eyed Peas. What a fucking prick, I just loved it when Mark Lamarr tore into him over his fucking shite filled trousers. 0/10.